Read This and Learn from My Mistakes If You're in Your 20s

This post is for anyone in their 20s who feels lost and uncertain about their future, especially those working in the tech industry who want to build a successful career.

I turn 30 this September. As that milestone approaches, I've been reflecting a lot on the decade behind me: the choices I made, the opportunities I missed, and the lessons I learned the hard way.

Right now, I'm unemployed. It's been three months since I left my previous job after struggling with burnout, stress, and declining performance. Stepping away wasn't easy, but it gave me something I desperately needed: space to think.

I've been coding for more than 10 years, and I've reached a point where I feel like my career isn't going anywhere. I've been stuck in the same position for years. My most recent salary was still under $800 a month, even after all those years. This period of unemployment has given me time to reflect on my life, make peace with my past regrets, and recognize the mistakes that have kept my career from truly moving forward.

Although these realizations were difficult to face, I am grateful for everything that has happened, because it has taught me many valuable lessons, even if it took me a long time to accept them. Here are the mistakes I'd like to share with you so you don't have to go through the same experience yourself:

Learning Too Many Things

For years, I chased every new programming language, framework, and tool that caught my attention. I thought breadth would make me valuable. Instead, it made me average. I should have practiced more algorithms and data structures with just one language, deepened my frontend fundamentals, and mastered them before moving on to other areas, such as backend development or beyond.

When you're learning something, focus deeply on it. Stop jumping between languages and frameworks, because that just leaves you with shallow knowledge of many technologies but mastery of none. Pick one thing, start building a real project, and go deep into it. A completed, polished project is more valuable than dozens of unfinished experiments.

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. - Bruce Lee

Not Joining a Community

This is what I regret the most throughout my career. I should have joined a community where I could network with people, which might have led to good career opportunities. There was a silly reason why I never joined one: I was afraid of looking stupid.

I've come to realize this was holding me back. It's the trait that kept my career from flourishing. From now on, I'm carrying out Steve Jobs' legendary quote as my principle.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. - Steve Jobs

A week ago, I started attending the AWS local community in my hometown, AWS User Group Malang. It wasn't a tech talk; it was just coffee and open discussion. Although I'm still a beginner at AWS, I attended anyway. I met a lot of awesome people at the community and felt like the most clueless person there. That was fine, because that's exactly what I expected before I attended the event. It was enjoyable, though. The people were so welcoming.

Hopefully I can give a tech talk at the AWS community someday. I'm still preparing and figuring out the topic I want to present. This would be my first tech talk ever, and I'll update this blog when I actually do it.

Lack of Communication Skills

Public speaking is the number one fear for most people, including me. My career was stuck because I didn't have good communication skills. The reason was that I'd been afraid of being judged, and eventually I realized nobody escapes being judged by others. So there's really no point being scared of it. Break through it.

In the end, the person who rises to the top is the one who's skilled in communication. However good your skills are, if you don't have good communication skills, you'll go unnoticed.

Engineers who are sought after in the market are the ones who can explain the code flow they're working on, who can describe the trade-offs of the tech stack they choose, not just because it's hyped or sounds cool. Critical thinking and communication skills are traits an engineer needs if they want to sell well in the market. Coding alone isn't enough; if that's all you rely on, you'll be replaced by AI.

For a long time, I thought good communication came naturally. I was wrong; it's a skill that can be practiced, even for an introverted person. Recently, to practice it, I've started recording myself talking about what I learned that day. This has helped a lot. It's a simple practice, but it works.

Wasting Life on Social Media

For years, I spent countless hours scrolling, comparing myself to others, chasing entertainment, and seeking validation through likes and engagement.

Looking back, here's what I'd tell myself: stop chasing validation. Stop scrolling through social media. Go for a morning run and skip the Instagram story. Travel somewhere and just be there, without documenting it for everyone else to see. Most people care far less about what you post than you think — that's the truth.

Chasing "likes" is addictive, and that addiction quietly eats into your productivity. I'm not saying you need to delete your accounts, but you do need to control yourself and cut down the time you spend on them as much as you can.

Personally, I deleted Instagram from my phone so I can only access it from my desktop browser, and I've stopped posting anything on it. I use Instagram for about one hour a week, usually every Thursday evening. I go through my saved posts, and once I've watched something, I remove it. After my saved posts are cleared out, I move on to the feed, and if I find something interesting, I save it to watch the following week. I feel so much more at peace using less social media.

Start journaling instead of spending so much time on social media, whether in Notion or a notebook with a pen; it doesn't matter. Personally, I do both, so if I lose something in Notion, I still have my notebook. It's so relaxing, and it makes me feel more alive. Journaling has helped me become more self-aware.

Multitasking

Some people can multitask, but most of us can't. Do one thing at a time. If you're eating, just enjoy your meal; don't eat while watching YouTube. Working while listening to music or a podcast slows down your productivity and reduces your focus. Embrace boredom.

When you run into a problem and get stuck on your work, just stop and do nothing for 5 to 10 minutes. Personally, I stare at the wall and do nothing, and it's really helpful for my productivity. Do NOT scroll on your phone; that makes things even worse.

Either work, or do nothing. Put your phone away during work hours.

Consuming More Than Producing

Have you ever felt like you understood something after watching a tutorial, but in reality you hadn't understood it at all because you never actually did anything? That was me.

Stop watching tutorials and start building something. I know it's frustrating at first, but it gradually becomes fun as you start seeing the results of your efforts. So again: stop watching tutorials and start building something.

Skipping Planning

Planning does matter. I used to undervalue it, and as a result, my 20s were a mess. I was disorganized, and now I realize how important staying organized really is. It really helps you stay focused. When you plan, you prevent yourself from doing the wrong things that waste your time. Time is precious. Once you lose it, you never get it back.

But before you plan, you have to understand yourself and get to know who you are. Start figuring out what time of day you're most productive. As a morning person, I always take on the hardest tasks early in the morning, so by the afternoon, only medium-to-easy tasks are left, when my energy levels aren't as high as they are in the morning. When you're planning, match your energy level to the corresponding task.

Lacking Discipline and Staying in the Comfort Zone

The comfort zone is very dangerous, especially for young people. I used to love entertainment like video games, movies, scrolling through media, and so on. I hate all of those things now. They don't actually give you peace; they just leave you with anxiety and regret in the end. We live in a distracted world where dopamine can be obtained instantly, when it should really be earned through effort.

Of course, humans need dopamine and entertainment sometimes; you need to relax once in a while. After some time passed, I found something more entertaining than all of those things I mentioned: doing nothing. Yes, doing nothing and staring at the wall lets your mind wander and reflect. I've felt my focus improve since I started this routine.

For talented or naturally smart people, achieving success might come effortlessly. But for me, as an ordinary person who isn't especially smart, there's no other way than sacrifice, discipline, and sticking to the plan. Discipline makes me happy.

Final Thoughts

I'm turning 30 with no job and no big title. A few years ago, that would have scared me. Now, it doesn't, because I finally have a real plan for where I'm headed over the next five years.

It took me almost a decade to learn what should have been obvious from the start: your 20s aren't for having everything figured out. They're for learning who you are, what you're bad at, and what you need to fix before it costs you more time.

I wasted a lot of years. But I'm not wasting any more.

If you're in your 20s, don't wait until you're staring down 30 to start paying attention. Fix the small things now, and build a plan while you still have time to follow it.

Let's start over.